Buddhism for Mothers: Finding Calm
Good Morning!
Wow. This chapter came along at the perfect time for me. Calm.
It’s not much of a secret that I can be a rather anxious mama. I do make an effort everyday and I believe I put on a pretty calm front. In my own mind though… Oh, goodness, I’m wringing my hands much of the time.
While reading this chapter, I thought of this poem again and again. (That post keeps coming up, doesn’t it?) The idea of approaching each situation/thought/feeling with equanimity is so very helpful when yearning for a state of calm. Treating our emotions with hospitality and giving each room to just be allows us to observe and experience them without letting the emotions control us. It’s important to remember this in the context of all emotions though, not just the negative or painful ones. Giving positive emotions room as well prevents us from creating attachments to them and hinging our happiness on moments we qualify as “good”. Each moment is equally important.
Equanimity certainly takes practice and time. I sometimes get frustrated when I realize I am once again caught in a negative thought pattern and must remember that the road to calm is a spiritual journey and not a straight path. I know I struggle with treating myself with compassion and patience, as I imagine many mothers do. If we cannot treat ourselves with compassion, how can we expect to find compassion for others?
Which part of this chapter spoke to you? What are your thoughts on equanimity?
I think I read this book almost two years ago now, and this is the part that has stuck with me the longest. Daily I find myself trying to face life with equanimity, and you’re right, it does take a lot of practice. It really helps smooth the bumps and, if not that, at the least it helps with my own reactions to the bumps, making them feel a little less drastic. It’s so worth the work and patience. :)
sorry. this is kari, it signed me in weird…
Nice to *see* you, Kari!
All I have to say is Right On! ;)
I underlined almost the entire chapter! I even wrote “reread” next to many paragraphs Equanimity can be very hard for me, but I try at every moment I can remember to practice it! It is interesting to see what I have engraned in my mind between good and bad moments. I absolutely love trying to take every moment as a new moment! It definitely gives it a whole new perspective on each moment than what was once percieved as either good or bad!
I didn’t even realize how ineffective my “ignore until you can’t, then ruminate” method for dealing with negative emotions (namely worry) was until reading this chapter. It is going to take a lot of practice but inviting each feeling as something transient and neither good nor bad is already helping. I also loved the bit about finding the humor in situations, my grandmother is excellent at this and it has served her very well.