So Much to Say…

Carrie @ Oh Baby O! — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 13:51:34 +0000

Hello friends,

I have so much to say, share with you… mostly about postpartum deppression and anxiety. Ill share as soon as I can. In the meantime, support is so very important during a difficult time such as this. So, please, speak up. Share.

XO,
Carrie

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Perspective

Carrie @ Oh Baby O! — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 19:09:10 +0000

I wish I wasn’t writing this right now, but here it goes… I’m back in the hospital battling an awful mysterious GI issue. When I was discharged from the hospital, I knew I wasn’t physically ready but I missed my family so desperately I went home anyway. Lesson learned. I’m starting to feel exhausted by this whole process. I’m also learning a few things and gaining some perspective…

I’m incredibly lucky to have friends and family to love and care for me and my family during this difficult time.

Nurses are everyday heroes. I’ve been met with so much kindness (and patience). I met a woman today willing to go above and beyond to help me continue to provide my baby with breastmilk, including drive my pumped breastmilk to my home after her shift. I’m overwhelmed by this kindness and just the humanity of it all.

I’ve learned how absolutely devoted to breastfeeding I really am. I’ve been toting around a manual pump in my purse and through ER visits, pancreatitis, dehydration, gastritis, a liquid diet, and all the consequntial anxiety, I kept pumping. I’m still pumping. I don’t intend to EP again but I do intend to breastfeed. (Baby N latches like a pro! Hooray!)
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Going home

Carrie @ Oh Baby O! — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:37:52 +0000

I’m going home today.

I’m thrilled.

I’m nervous.

I’m feelimg much better.

I’m feeling a little delicate.

I’m feeling so hopeful.

Thank you for your continued support. Please keep us in your thoughts.
xo,
Carrie

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Healing

Carrie @ Oh Baby O! — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 22:12:12 +0000

I’m a little unsure whether my previous post was misleading… The “here” I have been referring to is more of a figurative place than a literal one. I am in a local hospital being treated for pancreatitis. I am also being treated for symptoms of postpartum depression/anxiety… but not on a psychiatric care unit.

It’s so curious how close our mental, physical, and spiritual selves are. We really are whole beings, not just bodies. Some challenges, even seemly physical ones, need more than just medicine… Another sort of medicine, if you will.

I’ll be able to leave the hospital once my body heals a bit more but that won’t mean my work is done. I’ll need to seek a lot of outside support to continue to treat my whole self, not just my physical self. I’ll be honest, I’m a little nervous. What my family has been through the last couple of weeks hasn’t been easy… but every time I look at all the love and warmth surrounding us, l know we’ll get through.

Thank you for reading and sharing this journey with us.
xo,
Carrie

Filed under: Baby, Uncategorized

Hope

Carrie @ Oh Baby O! — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 18:16:45 +0000

I didn’t see this coming. No one did.
I mean, I’m the Mama. Mothering is what I do.

I have not had any thoughts of harming myself.
I certainly have not had any thoughts of harming my family.
I have not had any trouble bonding with my baby.
Breastfeeding started without any trouble.
My husband and I are not having any marital trouble.
I do not feel depressed (only a bit anxious).
My life is wonderful… everything I want…

Yet, here I am.

The doctor says I should be able to go home Monday or Tuesday,as soon as my body will tolerate real food again. While I know how important it is to be here right now, I’m absolutely aching to get back to my family,to be with my babies again… for more than just a short visit.

Thank you all so much for your love, support, and kind words. Thank you.
xo,
Carrie

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How to begin…

Carrie @ Oh Baby O! — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 16:51:22 +0000

Today there is snow on the ground. I like snow. It has a way of calming and quieting things.
Someone told me recently that it might be important to blog about what I (my family) is going though. Perhaps putting it out there, even as terrifyingly vulnerable as I am right now, may not only help me but other mothers and families as well. I started this blog in the first place as a way to connect, share, inspire. While I typically prefer to keep this a positive space, the reality is I’m struggling right now.
You see, my dear friends, l’m suffering from postpartum depression… or maybe more accurately, postpartum anxiety.
I write this post from a hospital bed on a Nook borrowed from a kind friend. I have been in the hospital for just about a week.
After the birth of sweet Baby N, I found myself sick. I couldn’t keep anything down for days. I thought I had the flu.
Eventually I found myself in my local emergency room with an inflamed pancreas, twenty pounds lighter, and terrified. What on Earth was happening to me?
As it turns out, postpartum depression or anxiety can manifest itself in many ways, including making you physically ill. And please hear me when I say it is very real and truly can happen to anyone.
There is so much more to say and I miss my babies so much I ache. For now though, the only thing to do is take it one moment at a time.
Thank you for your kind words and support… And most espescially thank you to the family and friends that have rallied around my family during this challenging time.
xo,
Carrie

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From Here…

Carrie @ Oh Baby O! — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 00:32:28 +0000

Dear Friends,
I’m writing this from a place I never thought I would find myself. I hope to find the courage to elaborate soon. In the meantime, any thoughts or goodness you can spare would mean the world to me and my family.
xo,
Carrie

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: courage, goodness

Happy Holidays 2011

Carrie @ Oh Baby O! — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 11:30:51 +0000

Happy Holidays 2011

Wishing you and yours Joy & Love!

xo,
Carrie, B, O, & Baby N

Filed under: Baby O, Family, Glimpses, Holiday, Home, Photo, Rhythm

Waiting…

Carrie @ Oh Baby O! — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 01:50:04 +0000

Baby N by the tree

Hello Friends,

Something I’ve learned through two pregnancies is that babies care not for due dates, or schedules of any kind for that matter. (And why should they?) Sometimes all the waiting and wondering is such fun! Other times, it’s a real exercise in patience! Baby N is “due” any day now, and I thought it might be fun to try to guess the specifics…

How much will Baby N weigh?

How long will she be?

What color hair will she have?

Will she have hair at all?

When might she make her appearance?

What time of day?

I’d love to hear your guesses! In the meantime, we’re waiting, settling in, celebrating, and always knitting.

xo,
Carrie

Filed under: Baby, Family, Glimpses, Milestones, Photo, Pregnancy, Preparing for Baby, Women's Health

Solstice 2011

Carrie @ Oh Baby O! — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 18:10:19 +0000

Wishing you warmth and light within the darkness.

Happy Solstice 2011!

Filed under: Family, Glimpses, Holiday, Photo, Rhythm